I spent most of yesterday at my step dad’s house washing clothes. I was alone, I couldn’t find anything worth watching on tv, and there was just nothing to do. Of course, since I was without a computer and the net, I wanted to blog. I swear, I can only think of things to post when I can’t actually post. So, I did the next best thing. I wrote it down on a piece of paper.
I meant to post this when I got home yesterday, but I got busy with other things and forgot. I didn’t think about it at all until I was going through the pockets of the pants I had on yesterday looking for something I’d lost. So, here its:
I’m sitting at my stepdad’s house all alone and I am so bored. I meant to bring my beret to work on, but I ran off and forgot it. I’m always forgetting something. My house is only a mile from here, and if it weren’t raining I would walk over there and get it.
I miss being able to drive. Life was so much easier when I could go wherever, whenever. I don’t mind walking places. I enjoy it, actually. I’m just so tired of having to ask people to take me places and scheduling my life around when other people can do things for me. I feel so helpless.
I finally found a doctor, and I’m on seizure meds again. I’ve been taking Dilantin since last Friday. My last doctor wouldn’t put me on it because he asid it would turn me into a zombie. He was all about newer medicines. So far, I haven’t had any problems with the Dilantin. I’ve actually been in a much better mood since I’ve started taking it (with the exception of yesterday). I have yet to have a seizure, but it’s only been a week.
Hopefully this medicine will get my seizures under control. If it does, I will be able to get my driver’s license back. But as much as I ate to depend on everyone else for a ride, I’m not sure I’ll ever actually be able to drive again. I’m afraid that if I do, history will repeat itself and I’ll have a seizure and wreck again. My kids were with me last time, and Gracie’s nose was broken. What if I kill one of them or someone else next time? I don’t think I could live with myself.
So, as much as I like to whine about not driving, I know that it’s for the best. I haven’t driven in a year, and I’ve been doing just fine. It would be so much easier if I lived in a city with public transportation, though. Oh well. You can’t have everything.
I’ve done that before – written out a blog post on paper. It’s true, I always want to blog when I have no access to a computer. In fact, I wouldn’t blog nearly as much as I have been if I hadn’t signed up for Nablopomo (you should try it, it actually helps get you into the blog gear!).
I’m sorry to hear that your seizures prohibit you from driving! Granted, I don’t drive, don’t have my license, and really I’m not sure I want to. I get panicky when it comes to being behind the wheel, and though I do know how to drive, I feel like I’m unsafe as of yet.
Who knows. Maybe I’ll get over it by the end of the year!
Anyway, I hope your meds continue working and hope you manage to knit more of your beret!
I do the blogging thing on paper, too, kinda. I am a big geek and carry a small notebook in my purse. Then I make blog note, yarn notes, and writing notes in it. I know, call me a geek.
Sorry to hear about your seizures. I have a friend who can’t drive because of them and has had a really hard time finding the right meds.
Don’t you hate it when you finally have time to work on a project and you don’t have it? Happens ALL the time!