Archive for July, 2003

I hate being broke

Gracie’s birthday is a week from tomorrow. She wants a play house for the back yard, but I can’t afford it right now. I don’t have much money lately anway, and now I have to buy 2 new tires for the car. I really need 4, but I can get away with buying just 2.

The tires on my car are awful. They’re probably the same ones that came one the car when Nana Tean bought it. The belt is broke in the right front tire, and the left front one is about to be. It shakes so bad that I thought the car was going to come apart when I was coming back from Chattanooga yesterday.

I asked my dad earlier where the best place to get tires would be. He told me to go to Church’s and talk to a certain guy, and tell him that I’m his daughter, and he’d give me a good deal. He said that he would loan me the money for a whole set of new tires, but he’s afraid that Barry will get mad at me and make me give the car back to him. He says he doesn’t want me to get stuck having to pay back all that money for a car I don’t even have.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I really need to get tires with this paycheck. If I don’t, I’m going to end up without a way to work or anywhere else. But if I do, I won’t have the money to get anything for Gracie’s birthday. I can’t get her much as it is, but at least I can get her a little something.

You know, I used to have plenty of money. But now that Mom and Barry are cut back to 36 hours at work, I don’t have any. Barry spends all their money on pain pills, and they end up having to borrow my money to pay bills. They always say they’ll pay me back, but they never do. Wayne doesn’t pay his child support on time anymore, so I can’t count on that. I probably won’t get any this coming month, either. He’s got a new vehicle, and I bet he spent his child support money on that.

Oh well, I’ll come up with something. I always do.


5 finger discount

Gracie commited her first crime today. She stole a tube of chapstick from the grocery store. She must’ve gotten it while we were waiting in line. I didn’t notice it until she was getting in the car and she dropped it. She picked it up as fast as she could, and I’m pretty sure she was trying to hide it from me. So, I marched her straight back in there and made her give it back.

She knew stealing that lipstick was wrong. She asked me if God was going to be mad at her, and she cried a lot. I think she took it because I won’t let her have lipstick anymore, and she loves makeup. She colored all over my mom’s bedroom with a tube of lipstick. She had the entire tv screen covered in it.

I can remember getting caught stealing something from that same store when I was her age, maybe a little older. I hid a pack of Rollos under my shirt and tried to walk out with it. Whoever I was with saw me, but I can’t remember if it was my mom or my dad. Gracie is just like me. Poor kid.


I took my tests tody. I did very well in all of them…except algebra. I scored a 36, and that wasn’t high enough. So, I have to take Intermediate Algebra. I’m guessing that it’ll be like taking Algebra II all over again. My final grade in that was a 95, so why can’t I remember any of it?

I scored a 99 on my reading and writing tests, which were the only other two tests I took. I knew I’d do well on those. I’ve been out of school for 5 years, my last math class was in the fall semester of senior year (almost 6 years ago). I haven’t used algebra since then, but I read and write a lot.

I feel bad about having to take a developmental class. All my classes in high school were honors classes, and I made straight A’s. I feel like a dumbass now. I’ll get over it, though. I just don’t like failing at stuff, you know? It really bothers me.

So, I guess it’s official now. I’m going to register for my classes tomorrow, and they start on the 25th. I’m the first one of our immediate family to go to college. Well, my dad went to tech school, but that doesn’t count. I’m special now :p

before I get back to studying

I just have to pass along this funny, somewhat gross story by Beer Mary.

Night of the Would-Be Pancake Like Cat

I’m really going to study now, I promise.

my brain hurts

I’m going back to school starting August 25. I have to go Tuesday and take my placement tests. There’s just one problem, though. I’ve been out of school for 5 years (can’t believe it’s actually been that long), and I’ve forgotten everything.

I took a couple of practice tests last night, and I did really bad on the math part. Well, not really all the math, just the more advanced algebra stuff. I was really good at math in high school. And since these tests determine what level of math I can take, I want to do my best. I don’t want to have to take developmental classes, so I’ve been studying.

I should’ve started studying earlier. Actually, I should’ve taken the test earlier. But I’d decided I wasn’t going to go back. Since I didn’t get my license back, and I can’t now until next March, I didn’t want to make that 80 mile round trip every day on a suspended license. And, I thought that going to school, working, and taking care of the girls would just be too hard.

One day last week, I got a letter in the mail telling me the amount of my Tennessee Student Assistance Award. I started thinking that since the state and federal governments are willing to pay for me to go to school, why not take them up on it? So, I started looking around the website of the school I’d applied to, and found out that I could get a degree in what I wanted (Information Systems) over the internet. I’ll only have to actually go to school 3 or 4 times a semester.

I think this will work well for me. I’m not a people person, so I don’t know how well I’d do being back in a school environment. I’ll still have to do the same amount of work as I would actually being on campus, but I don’t have to deal with as many dumbasses. I don’t have to cut back on my hours at work, because I can take my classes in the middle of the night if I want to. And I won’t have to spend all that extra time away from my girls.

Now I’ve got to get back to studying. I haven’t taken a test in a really long time!

titles are overrated

Today (er, yesterday?) got off to a horrible start. I got up a little after 6:30. I walked in the living room, and Gracie was sitting on the couch. Barry was standing in the middle of the living room with all his clothes on, his hat, and his shoes on. I asked him where he was going, and he started yelling at me. Now, if someone who never moves his lazy ass from his recliner is standing up with his shoes and hat on, wouldn’t you think he was going somewhere?

Then, he started bitching because he had to put my clothes in the dryer to be able to wash some more. Well, I had to fold his clothes that were sitting in the dryer and put Mark’s clothes in the dryer to be able to wash some. By the time Mark’s clothes got done drying last night, it was too late to turn the dryer on againa. It’s noisy and it squeaks, and he would’ve been bitching about that too.

Then he kept on with some stupid shit that I wasn’t even paying attention to. I was trying to give Arien a bottle. Then he called me stupid. By that time, I’d had enough of his bullshit. I’ve been enduring this for 15 years, and I’m not going to take it anymore. So, I said, “Shut the fuck up, Barry.”

He was standing in the kitchen when I said that. He yells “Don’t you tell me to shut the fuck up!”, and comes running in the living room with his hand raised like he’s going to hit me. “I’ll bust your fucking head open,” he said. I told him to go ahead. Gracie, who was sitting next to me, was yelling “Get away from my Mommy!”

Continue reading ‘titles are overrated’


I added a new skin. It’s not really new, because it’s a layout I’ve used before. But I like it, so I figured why not use it again? I also fixed the more links so they’ll open in a new window. So, there ya go, CJ. You don’t have to look for the close link anymore :p

Mark came home on his lunch break, and he told me that Jenny’s getting a divorce (they work together). I hate to say it, but I’m glad. I’ll have my best friend back. She’s supposed to call me Friday, when they don’t have to work. Continue reading ‘recycled’