Archive for October, 2003

so much to do

I’m so far behind on my school work it’s not even funny. My research paper is due a week from tomorrow, and I’ve barely even started on it. I’ve been slacking on everything lately. I don’t know why, but I’ve had a really short attention span for the last couple of weeks, and I haven’t gotten anything done.

We found out last week when Gracie had a physical at the health department that she has a heart murmur. It sounded like a pretty bad one. I was supposed to take her to the doctor Friday, but I couldn’t. Wayne never showed up to get Arien Friday morning, and I wasn’t about to take her with me. She already has a cold, and I didn’t want her to catch anything worse. I’m going to call and reschedule Gracie’s appointment tomorrow.

I have no idea why Wayne didn’t show up Friday. He never called to explain, either. Just when I thought I could count on him to help, he does this. I don’t know why it surprised me so much, I should’ve expected it. I’ve really been making an effort to get along with both him and Daphne lately. I even sent some clothes that Gracie can’t wear anymore to Daphne’s kid. I could’ve taken them to the Goodwill or the Salvation Army, or even sold them on Ebay. They were nice clothes. It shocked the hell out of Wayne when I asked him if Terra needed any clothes. Maybe he was too shocked to show up Friday, but I doubt it.



Yeah, I’m still around. I just haven’t been on the computer much lately. Not too long ago I would’ve been having blog withdrawals if I had went this long without blogging, but now I just seem to totally forget about it sometimes.

Some kid that goes to the school across the street won a contest, and Nickelodeon has been there filming stuff all day long. I think they’ve filmed Slime Time Live or something like that. They’ve been setting up since Sunday night, and it’s been a real pain in the ass.

They’ve been playing loud music and making lots of noise since yesterday, but that’s not so bad. What’s really bothering me is the fact that they’ve blocked off the street. I tried to go home for lunch, but I couldn’t get to the house because the block is closed off. I had to park down the road and walk quite a way to get to my house. I hope they’re done by the time I go home.


As of today, I’ve been blogging for a whole year. When I started, I didn’t think I’d keep it up long. I guess I got addicted to it. This blog has been a great outlet for me. I used to post a lot more than I do now, but I don’t have as much time since I started school. I’m trying to get back into the groove, though.

In honor of my one year blogiversary (that’s such a cool word), I’m going to repost my first ever blog entry.


I just don’t understand them. Especially not the father of my children. I’ve been with him for 4 years, and when I’m with him, I don’t know which way is which.

I hadn’t seen Wayne (kids’ daddy) in over a month until yesterday at our appointment at the Child Support office. I thought we were through. But the way he was acting yesterday, I really have no idea. He kissed me and held me and told me again and again how much he loves me and his babies. “More than anything”, he said.

I’ve been trying to get over him for a while. But when he does things like that, it’s really hard too. But no matter how many times he told me he loved me, I didn’t say it back. I didn’t want to let him kiss me. You know, I’ve been happy this past month without him, but I know I’d probably be happier if my family was back together. What am I going to do?

      Originally posted Oct. 12, 2002 @ 7:58 pm

I’m Missing My Baby

Gracie is spending the weekend on Signal Mtn. with Wayne’s Granny. She’s been gone since about noon, and I miss her terribly. It’s just too quiet when she’s not here.

She couldn’t wait to leave. As soon as Anna and Oak walked in, she grabbed her bag, went outside, and said “Are you coming or are you not?” They didn’t even have time to sit and talk. I think she was under the impression that they were going to take her to the Pumpkin Patch today. I tried to tell her that she couldn’t go today because it was raining, but she wouldn’t listen.

I hope she’s having fun. Of course, she always does when she’s there. I just don’t know what Arien and I are going to do until Monday.

Arien isn’t quit old enough to go with them yet, but she will be one day. I really don’t know what I’ll do when they’re both gone for the weekend. I’m nothing without my kids.

The worst part of having a cell phone

For me, that is the fact that no matter where I am, my brother can call me and ask for a ride home. The first time he called today, I was in Goody’s. 5 minutes later, he calls and asks if I’d left yet. When I finally got done shopping, I call him to tell him I’m on my way and he tells me he doesn’t need a ride anymore.

Well, guess what happened about a minute after I walked in the door of my house. Yup, he called again. So, I’m off to pick him up now. I think I’m going to make him ride in the trunk, though. If I had a rope I’d make him ride tied to the top of the car. Bet he wouldn’t ask me for a ride again.

Of course y’all know I’m just kidding about the trunk stuff.

Suggestion Box

Rev. Daddy is after me to sing in church again, but I have no idea what to sing. I need suggestions, please!

Oh, and I will post that essay as soon as I find the floppy I put it on. I think I might’ve left it at work (my printer is dead, so I printed it there), I’ll look tomorrow.

80 degrees

It’s hot in here. The thermometer says 80 degrees. I’m sweating, the kids are sweating, my brother is compalining about being hot, but my mom refuses to let us turn on the air conditioner, a fan, or even open a window. She says it’s cold. Of course, she’s always been cold, ever since I can remember.

I tried to sneak and turn the A/C on, but as soon as it came on Mom started yelling about it, and turned it off. I tried reasoning with her. I told her that the thermometer said that it was 80 degrees in here. She said, “Well, 80 degrees is okay when it’s cold outside.”

Could somebody please explain to me how 80 degrees is cooler when it’s cold outside? It’s not even cold outside, it’s 60 degrees! Her mind works in a weird way, I swear. I’ll be glad when she goes to bed and I can at least open a window. If I don’t spontaneously combust before then, that is. It’s times like this when I really miss having my own house.