Archive for March, 2004

Playing Dumb

Gracie’s interview didn’t go too well. She was a nervous wreck. She chewed on either one of her fingers or a pencil the whole time we were there, and she shook like a leaf. We could barely hear her when she talked, and she would answer most of the questions that lady asked her with “I don’t know”, even though I know good and well that she did. And, she refused to tell that lady her name. She told her my full name, Arien’s full name, and her dad’s, but told that lady that she was just Gracie. I think that one of the reasons Gracie wouldn’t tell the lady her whole name was that she’s having trouble adjusting to her new last name. Before we had her name changed, she wouldn’t hesitate to yell out “Natalie Grace Moore!” anytime someone asked her. Now, all she’ll say is Gracie, and she’ll tell me that Turner is a boy’s name, and she’s not a boy. I don’t think she made a good impression at all. The lady, who will be her teacher next year (small school, only one kindergarten class), gave me a long list of things to work on with Gracie before school starts. And almost every single thing she gave me was something that Gracie already knows. Can anyone tell me why she acted dumb? Gracie is an extremely smart child, but she just froze up in front of that lady. I don’t understand that.


Big School

Gracie and I are going to register her for kindergarten today. She’s so excited about going to “big school”. There’s just one problem, though. She thinks she doesn’t have to go to “little school” (daycare) anymore. I’ve tried to explain to her that she doesn’t actually start kindergarten until some time in August, but she just won’t have it. Boy, is she going to be disappointed when I take her to daycare tomorrow! I am having serious internet withdrawals! My dad’s computer is in his room, and about the only time I can get on it is first thing in the morning before work. They go to bed at like 8:00, so I can’t get on at night. There has been so much stuff that I’ve wanted to write about but I can’t! Maybe soon he’ll get the network set up so I can use his laptop, or maybe I can con my brother out of his computer. But I doubt it!

You know what….I’m happy

This moving thing has really done wonders for my mood. I think I might be actually happy now, for the first time in a long time. It’s really nice not to have somebody constantly on my case. If only I had access to a computer whenever I wanted it, I’d be in heaven. I had a nice little chat with Daphne last night. Wait – did I just use nice and Daphne in the same sentence? What the hell is wrong with me? Anyway, from the way she talks, hes a much bigger asshole to her than he ever was to me. He wouldn’t even let her go see her other two kids when she had the chance. I told her that if she ever got a chance to go see them again, to go to Jamie’s house and then call me and I’d take her. No, that doesn’t mean I like her, I just feel sorry for her. We all just happened to be at the same place last night. I had went to Chattanooga, and Gracie didn’t want to go, so she stayed with Jamie. When I went to get her, Wayne and Daphne were there. I ignored Wayne the best I could while I was there, and Daphne, Jamie, and I ended up standing in the driveway talking for about an hour. I wouldn’t let Wayne see Arien, and when we left, he yelled out, “Thanks for letting me see my kids”. I was pretty sure he was being sarcastic, so I said, “Yeah, and thanks for paying all that child support, asshole.” Okay, enough posting for now. I need to go do what I came here to do – get the rest of our clothes so I can wash them. What fun!


Mom is doing well. She came home Tuesday morning. She starts radiation in 2 weeks, then chemo after that. Since my mom is very sick, and she doesn’t need my kids annoying her all the time, we’re moving in with my dad until I can find a place of my own. Well, actually we’re already staying at my dad’s (I’m there now), we just don’t have any of our stuff here yet. We have to clean out my brother’s old bedroom before we move any of our stuff in, because my old bedroom is now the sewing room, and there’s nowhere else to put everything. We slept in my sister’s bed last night. She doesn’t live here anymore since she got married, but she isn’t going to move her stuff out until they get a house. Posting will probably be lighter than usual until we get settled in, so don’t worry if I don’t post anything for a week or more.

This just hasn’t been my day

Last night, my brother promised me that he would watch my kids while I worked today. I had to leave at 9:30, be at work by 10, and work until 4. Well, guess what. At 15 after 9, my brother informed me that he changed his mind and wasn’t going to watch my kids. Asshole. I got pissed and started crying (I can’t help it, I cry when I’m mad), and called my boss and told her what was going on. She came up with the bright idea of getting Jenny to babysit, and even called her herself. Being the wonderful person that she is, Jenny agreed to babysit, so I was saved from losing my job for at least one more day. I feel terrible for ruining her day off, but I’m so glad I have a friend like her. There aren’t many people who would sacrifice a Saturday for someone else.

Sick kids are soooo not fun

I didn’t get my miracle. When I got up at 7:00 this morning (after finally getting Arien to sleep about 4:00), both of the the girls were still burning up. I knew they couldn’t go to daycare with a fever, so I started calling around searching for a babysitter. Of course I didn’t find one. I never do. Everyone was either working, or busy, or didn’t want their kids to catch whatever my kids have (I can understand that). By 9:30, I had finished my search, so I went ahead and called work. The manager got all pissy with me, saying that I shouldn’t have waited until 30 minutes before my shift started to call. If she had actually looked at the schedule, she would’ve known that I didn’t have to be there until 11:00, and that she had an hour and a half to find someone to work for me. I tried to tell her that, and to explain that I had spent the whole morning looking for a babysitter, but she either wasn’t listening or didn’t care, because she hung up on me. I don’t know why she had to be so damn rude about it. I can’t controll when my kids get sick. I’m the only parent they have, and I’m the one who has to take care of them when they get sick. Of course, I’m also the only source of income we have, because their sorry excuse for a father hasn’t paid child support in a very long time, and isn’t likely to start paying anytime soon. That’s what sucks about this. My boss is going to think I’m unreliable now, which I probably am, but not because I want to be. I’ll probably be walking a thin line at work now, and I’ll constantly be worried about getting fired. If I had called in sick so that I could go party, or shopping, etc., I could understand her getting pissy about it. My kids really are sick, though. All day I have been fighting to get some medicine in them, trying to hold both of them at the same time because they both want me to pet them, trying to get Arien to eat (she hasn’t eaten anything since Tuesday, and won’t no matter what I offer her), and, well, you get the picture. The kids are whiny, and I’d much rather be at work than here. My boss can’t see that, though. She just knows that I didn’t come in, and she’s going to have to actually get off her ass and do something. Oh, and I haven’t been sitting in front of this computer all day. I just got the girls to take a nap right before I came in here. I had to have a little break.


Both Gracie and Arien have fevers. Arien’s started last night. It would go away if I gave her medicine, but come back as soon as it wore off. Gracie has a fever of 102.6 right now, and I can’t get it to go down. Gracie is complaining of various aches and pains, but other than having a fever, Arien is fine. I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow. I have to work, and I can’t take them to daycare if they’re sick. Everybody else that could possibly babysit for me has to work, too. I guess I’ll be staying home, and possibly taking them to the doctor, unless by some miracle they’re both fine in the morning. I hate to miss work, though. I haven’t had this job long, and I don’t want to give the impression that I’m unreliable. We need the money, too. None of that really matters though. I will stay home with them, because they’re sick and they need me. My girls come first, and if the people at work don’t like it, they can kiss my fat ass.