Archive for September, 2010

On Spending Nights Alone

It’s after 3 AM. My husband is at work, my kids are asleep, and I’m sitting here alone. I hate being alone at night. I get nervous and it’s hard for me to fall asleep. I wish Andrew was here to hold me. I know I wouldn’t have a problem falling asleep if he was. I hate to admit it, but I’m still afraid of the dark. I’ll be 30 in a week, and I’m still afraid. I’m weird. I know.

I haven’t been getting much sleep since Andrew started working 3rd shift. I’m just so uncomfortable by myself at night and I have a really hard time falling asleep. I know I need to find a way to get over this, but I’m just not sure how. I think I’m going to have to do some research on the subject. “Help for old people who are still afraid of the dark.” That’s probably what I need to look up.

I’m going to try to fall asleep now. I know if I don’t get enough sleep I’ll have a seizure in the morning, and I can’t have that happening. I especially don’t need to have a seizure at work. I need all the hours I can get.

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Head Cold

I’ve had a head cold for the last few days. I get one this time every year. I guess it’s the change in the weather. It’s starting to get cooler and my sinuses start messing up. I feel like shit, and I’ll be so glad when it’s over. Feeling like this makes work suck even more than it already did. But I’ve been going anyway. Good-old reliable me. I work even right after I’ve had a seizure. I wish I could be like everyone else I work with and just not give a damn. I can’t do it, though. I’ve tried.

I’m sitting here right now watching “The Breakfast Club” and wishing my husband was here with me. He works 3rd shift at a gas station, so he’s gone all night almost every night. He gets bored and calls me sometimes and we talk for a while between customers. He puts the phone down when someone comes in and I have to listen to him talk to them. He says the same thing to almost everybody – “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while.”

I swear, he knows everybody. He’s the kind of person who will talk to anybody that will talk back to him. That’s why this job is so perfect for him. I just miss having him home with me at night. I was used to having him to cuddle with at night, then he started working 3rd shift and I had to learn to sleep alone. I’m still not used to that. At first I let the baby sleep with me, but now he can crawl and he woke up one night while I was still asleep and crawled right off the bed. My bed isn’t exactly low, either. It amazed me that he could fall that far and not be hurt. I didn’t want to take any more chances, though, so he sleeps in his crib now.

All of my kids are asleep right now. School starts tomorrow, so my girls have a big day ahead of them. They’re both so excited to finally be going back. It’s been a long summer, and they’re ready to go see their friends. Especially Gracie. She’s that age where being around other girls is all she cares about. They only put one of her friends in her class this year, though, so she’s going to have to make some new ones. That’ll be easy for her, though. She’s good at making friends.

And I’m Back Yet Again

It’s been a really long time since I’ve written anything. I’ve been thinking about writing a lot lately, and now I’m finally going to.

We’ve been living in Georgia for over a year now. I like it down here. The girls do too. They like the school they’re in down here better than they ever did the one they went to in Tennessee. I’m glad they like it down here, because I’m not ready to move back to Tennessee anytime soon.

I got married on May 6 of this year. Finally. Yes, it was to the guy that my last couple of posts were about. We’re as happy as can be. Our son, Bentley, was born at the end of last December. I know, we did it backwards. Hey, it all worked out for the best.

I haven’t been knitting much lately. I just haven’t had time. I work 6 days a week, and there’s always something going on at home. I still love it, I just haven’t had a chance. I’m sure I will someday, though.

It’s getting late now. I should probably go to bed some time soon. I have to work pretty early in the morning. I’m going to try to start posting more frequently now, though. I promise!


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