Archive for the 'bitching & whining' Category

Jealousy

You know, I’d love to be able to say that I’m not a jealous girlfriend, but then I’d be lying. I’m not like some people I know who get pissed off whenever a girl (even family!) is near her man, but I do get pretty upset over some girls. The thing is, I just don’t let anyone know it.

Andrew has a lot of female friends. Most of them I don’t worry about. There’s one that I do worry about, though. The one he used to date that keeps trying to hook up with him again. But that’s not even what this post is about.

His best friend is a girl, and most of the time it seems that he’d rather be with her than with me. We went to Coolidge Park in Chattanooga yesterday, and he spent the whole day walking around with her. When the kids rode the carousel, he wanted to ride too but said he didn’t have anyone to ride with. I told him I would ride, and he said, “I wanted A… to ride with me.” We were out running around today, and he said he was going to take the kids and I home so he could clean out his car. The girl was here when we pulled up, and he said, “Oh, A.. can ride with me to clean out my car!” WTF? He wanted to bring us home to get rid of us. I would have gladly went and helped him, but he’d rather she go.

How can I not be jealous of that? He makes me feel like shit. It always feels like he’d rather be with anyone but me. If that’s what it is, why is he even with me? I’m beginning to think it would be so much easier to just let him go and be alone. I love him so much and I don’t want to lose him, but I don’t want to be in another one-sided relationship. What am I supposed to do?

Advertisements

On Paper

I spent most of yesterday at my step dad’s house washing clothes. I was alone, I couldn’t find anything worth watching on tv, and there was just nothing to do. Of course, since I was without a computer and the net, I wanted to blog. I swear, I can only think of things to post when I can’t actually post. So, I did the next best thing. I wrote it down on a piece of paper.

I meant to post this when I got home yesterday, but I got busy with other things and forgot. I didn’t think about it at all until I was going through the pockets of the pants I had on yesterday looking for something I’d lost. So, here its:
Continue reading ‘On Paper’

Lots of whining

Yesterday my sister had a job interview. She recently left her husband, and he burned all of her possessions, so she had to go get her social security card, driver’s license, birth certificate, etc. before her interview. That required driving all over hell and back, and Andrew and I went with her.

I had planned on going home before she went to Scottsboro for her interview, but they didn’t have time to take me. I had to call my stepdad to get the kids off the bus for me. I told him to take them to their dad’s house and I would pick them up when I got back. They were supposed to go to his house anyway, but Arien didn’t want to so I told her to come on home. When I told my stepdad that, he started bitching about how I let the kids do whatever they want to and that sometimes I’m going to have to make them do things they don’t want to. And that pissed me off.

When I got off the phone, Andrew started bitching about how it was mean to make them go to their dad’s house. He, of course, hates their dad and doesn’t ever want them to go there. But that just pissed me off even more and inspired this plurk.

I was in a bad mood for the rest of the day. When my stepdad got the kids off the bus, he called me and said “They don’t want to go to their dad’s house, so I’m going to take them home with me.” So much for making them do things they don’t want to do. I just can’t win.

I was planning on whining a little more about other things, but I can’t think straight at the moment. My sister is sitting in here with me talking about myspace, and I know she’s just dying for me to get off the computer so she can flirt with some guys. So, I’m going to go make myself useful and clean something.

Something New

I started a new project Monday night. Yeah, I probably shouldn’t have since I have a whole closet full of unfinished things. I just really wanted to knit a hat, though, so I started abinary cable hat. I’m a little over half done, and I think it’s turning out nicely.

Halfway

I may finish it tonight, but then again, maybe not. I haven’t had any caffeine in 3 whole days. That’s a lifetime for me. But the real kicker is that I haven’t had a cigarette since 7:00 last night. That’s over 17 hours. I haven’t went this long without smoking in years. It’s driving me crazy, and I’m about to walk to my stepdad’s house to get me some of one or the other. Preferably a cigarette. There’s no telling how long I’ll be gone, but maybe I’ll fell a lot better when I get back!

Blue

I let my kids play games on this computer fairly often. They’ve been good about not messing with things they aren’t supposed to. Until today, that is. I was in my room putting away clothes and Arien decided she wanted to play a game. Apparently she started messing with buttons on the monitor and totally screwed up the colors. Everything is blue, and I can’t fix it. I’ve been trying since I got home from work about an hour and a half ago. It has to be something that she did, because it was fine this morning, and this thing is only about a month old, so it can’t be going bad. Needless to say, I’ve learned my lesson about leaving children unsupervised around my computer.

Oh, Crap

Well, I haven’t gotten the dishes washed yet. In my defense, though, neither have my brother or cousin who have been staying here. They are the ones who dirited all of the dishes. My kids stayed with my dad and stepmom friday night, and I worked until 3 AM, but my brother and cousin were here. And they cooked 3 meals. Three large meals in the span of 9 hours, and another yesterday, and they didn’t clean a thing. I’m thinking of putting locks on the cabinet and fridge and not letting them eat unless they start cleaning up after themselves. This is getting old.

I haven’t went grocery shopping either, but I’m going to do that as soon as I post this. It was just so hot today, and the grocery store across the street closed last month, and I didn’t feel like driving all the way to Wal – Mart. Yeah, I’m lazy, but weren’t Sundays made to be lazy? Besides, I hate Wal-Mart with a passion.

I have pictures of Gracie’s birthday “party” the we had at Youth Group today, and some pictures of my WIPs to post when I get back.

Feed me, Seymour

Let me apologize in advance for all the whining and bitching contained in this post.

It’s one-freaking-thirty in the morning, and I’m still awake. I didn’t get to sleep until after 4 AM yesterday, and was up by 8. Yes, folks, my insomnia is back with a vengance. I’ve been running on little to no sleep for almost two weeks now, and it’s beginning to take it’s toll on me. I’m hard to get along with when I’m tired. I don’t even like myself when I’m like this.

Stress is causing this, that much I know. It seems like my life is falling apart, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I need a job. I can’t even go look for a job again until school starts back. That takes care of Gracie, but even then I still don’t have anywhere to leave Arien. It’s kinda hard to put in applications and chase a two year old at the same time.

Being unemployed also means that I am stuck here in this house all the time. I’m so sick of looking at this place! Sure, I could leave for a while, but where would I go? My mom’s house? She’s not exactly the most pleasant person in the world, and I would just leave there in an even worse mood. Driving around is out of the question – I can’t afford to waste gas.

Yes, I’m having one of those “poor me” moments. I know that things could be worse – they have been before, and they probably will be again before it’s over with – I just want things to go my way for once.

And, to add to my bad mood, I’m hungry and there’s not a thing in this house I want to eat. We have plenty of food, it’s just that none of it looks good right now. I want some of those nachos like I used to get at my brother’s little league baseball games. Just some cheese sauce over some chips with jalapeno slices on top. Lots of jalapeno slices. I might feel better if I had that, but there’s no way I’m getting any nachos tonight, so I’m just going to sit here and be cranky until I finally fall asleep.


Categories